Random Thoughts from My Daily Amusement

My mind
I love my internal narrator with his silky smooth voice. I think Barry White is the spokesman for my conscience.

Cascade
My uncle taught me an interesting way how to remove anthills. Put a couple drops of Cascade dishwasher fluid near an anthill, and the worker ants will bring it back to the colony, where it will poison and kill EVERYTHING. How sinister and nefarious.

Sports Illustrated
I do believe I am the only straight man on the planet who gets the Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition for the articles. I swear, some of the women in those issues are terrifying. In this recent one, one of them had a Michael Strahan gap between her teeth... ewwww

CURSES
Curse you shaving mishap in the nether regions of my body. I would make a forest fire joke, but in lieu of the recent forest fires in Australia and California, it would most likely cause my imminent departure to hell. Or a job offer as a writer for South Park.