Summary of My Literary Interests

I study English Education because my parents believe  I will remain eternally poor, and I enjoy worrying them. I chose English as my primary focus because research papers are tortuous and I am a masochist. I chose to become a teacher because teaching is the closest profession to a drill sergeant without the required military service. I taught in China this summer, and I felt at home in the Communist Party. I chose to have you as a professor again because I knew I would be allowed to take risks. This is good practice for when I eventually drive my future PhD advisor to insanity.

I grew up reading because it gave me an excuse to hide from my sisters. I prefer Russian Literature. The Russians know how to write about misery in excruciating detail. Brothers Karamazov was my first introduction to the genre. The book was excellent as a projectile against my roommate. Also, Father Zosima loves candy and I can claim sainthood in my gluttony. I loved Tolstoy’s, Death of Ivan Illych, although the protagonist’s cathartic demise was disappointing.  Gogol’s short story, “The Overcoat”, was a wonderful summary of materialism, very relevant in today’s American society. Russian literature instills a sense of moral superiority. I can judge others with abandon and without guilt.

20^th century South American literature is my other favorite literary genre. Borges’ magical realism resonates with my whimsical nature. Pablo Neruda is great to quote on a date, especially in the original language. The novellas such as By Night in Chile and Pedro Paramo suit my short attention span. I love to read foreign literature because I can pretend I am cultured, even though I am an American.

I look forward to the cooperative paper assignments. Hopefully, my classmates won’t want to expel me from the university by the end of the semester.  I do hope I have given enough of a negative impression to start the semester on an entertaining note.